It's been over two weeks since I last updated. It's hard for me to write when things aren't going badly. Is that strange? I am 18w6d. It feel surreal because this is the point I used to be so envious of for other women, and here I am, and I'm not quite on the magical… Continue reading (Almost) Half Way There, Livin’ On A Prayer
I had my last hCG check on Monday (19 dpo) and it more than doubled from 1810 to 3920, so we scheduled the first ultrasound to take place on 10/25. That ultrasound will be a major milestone for me and after that it's a race to the second trimester. A very slow race. I've been… Continue reading The Limbo of Pregnancy After Loss
Having a baby isn’t a zero sum game. So why is it then when I see other women falling pregnant do I think, if she gets her baby I may not get mine? As though, if 1 if 4 must miscarry (and this is closer to 1 in 5 if you exclude chemical pregnancies) then… Continue reading It’s Not A Zero Sum Game (and p Update)
I did my blood draw this morning (13 dpo) and my first beta is 183! That is the highest beta I've ever had! (edit: highest first beta) At least I think it is, because with my cervical ectopic pregnancy, I didn't have my hCG tested until until 5 or 6 days until after my period… Continue reading “p” Update: Beta Results
("p" update: hCG test is tomorrow morning. FRER was slightly lighter this morning and Wondfo was darker. Choosing not to panic.) Well, that was fast. I posted that I am "p" and lost three followers. I 100% expected it to happen, and understand completely. I've done it myself. You have to protect yourself. Because it… Continue reading Smug Preggos
I emailed Dr. J, my traditional Chinese medicine doc, and told her I needed a break from acupuncture because the cycle got cancelled. She responded, “Why did it get cancelled? For what reason?” I wrote back explaining why. No response from her after that. No nothing. WTF? I feel like ever since my cycle cancellation… Continue reading Supplements, Acupuncture, and Feeling Jaded
Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are not a big deal in my family. My mother left me when I was 13 years old, so Mother’s Days have long been fraught with angst and resentment toward her. Mother’s Day 2014, however, was my first after pregnancy loss and I remember it being a very tearful day.… Continue reading Father’s Day, Schmather’s Day
I’ve written before about my doubts about my fertility clinic. I can’t change clinics until January 2018 when I change my health insurance. See, it’s complicated. I work at a university that offers its own free health insurance. The only caveat is that you have to use their health center that is only for students,… Continue reading How Do You Choose An IVF Clinic?
I picked up my meds for my upcoming IUI! Since the first time I saw a picture like this of fertility meds, I've wanted to take one of my own. That's the stupidest thing you've ever heard, right? Well, I wasn't always this way. I have read this phrase "infertility island" repeatedly, and the earliest… Continue reading Coming of Age on Infertility Island
Yesterday was our second appointment with my fertility doctor, Dr. M. I got my Fertilome test results back. I have two genetic variants that are associated with a moderate risk for disorders associated with infertility - one for premature ovarian failure, and one for endometriosis. I don't have the latter (as far as we know)… Continue reading Too Fat for IVF!