I pour over old medical records. When exactly did I become infertile? My right ovary was 3.5 mL over a year ago. A menopausal ovary is 2.8 mL on average. Right. When did my AMH drop? I’ll never know. My body is a mystery to me and to my doctors but they aren’t nearly as… Continue reading At Peace With Donor Eggs, IVF # 2
I finally did it. I left my Facebook support groups, except for my DOR and Donor Egg groups. Bye, bitches! Well, they weren’t all bitches. But this morning I saw a post from a woman who just transferred one of her many PGS normal embryos and got a strong positive before her beta, and oh… Continue reading My Future Motherhood
Does your face ever cry without your mind knowing it? This morning I was listening to an audiobook while I got ready for work and a character said she felt proud of the amazing children she and her husband had created. And my mind was on the tub of face cream in my hand but… Continue reading Second Guessing Infertility
Turning 35 Sunday was my 35th birthday. I remember when I decided I wanted children at 29, I thought, "But I need to have them by 35 because the risk of chromosomal abnormalities like Down syndrome increase after 35." I remember finally meeting my soulmate and getting married at 32 and deciding I'd have my… Continue reading Turning 35, WTF Appointment, and Next Steps
Yesterday I stuck to my stupid gluten free dairy free blah blah blah and got on the treadmill and ate some brazil nuts and pineapple core, and then I put in my progesterone, got in bed, and fell asleep to my fertility meditation. Friday is my WTF appointment with Dr. M. I am going to… Continue reading Get Me Off Of Infertility Island!
I emailed Dr. J, my traditional Chinese medicine doc, and told her I needed a break from acupuncture because the cycle got cancelled. She responded, “Why did it get cancelled? For what reason?” I wrote back explaining why. No response from her after that. No nothing. WTF? I feel like ever since my cycle cancellation… Continue reading Supplements, Acupuncture, and Feeling Jaded
Cycle got cancelled. We went in on Saturday morning, stims day 8, cycle day 13, and we were told that my endometrial lining was developing the triple stripe and was 6.8 mm (yay I have a decent uterus still) and that none of my follicles were at 10 mm yet. She did say that my… Continue reading IVF # 1: Cancelled
I had my AMH retested to see if it was really <.03 ng/mL, and also had my vitamin D levels tested for the first time to see if a low vitamin D level was making my AMH appear lower than it really was. I've also read numerous studies on DHEA raising AMH levels. Now I… Continue reading AMH Update
Yesterday was CD10 and stims day 5. I went in for my follicle check. I’d been having fertile mucus so I had high hopes. My actual doctor ended up doing the scan, which was great! Usually a medical fellow does the scan (though my baseline was done by the head of the clinic) so I… Continue reading Stims Day 5: Follicle Check!
Update: On Wednesday I did get a message from a nurse that my E2 is 67 and FSH is 3 (from Estrogen priming? Wtf?) and we are going ahead with the cycle. I needed to have a pity party on Wednesday, though. I am hoping my stupid cyst is hiding some follicles. I also remembered… Continue reading IVF#1 Is A Go