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Eight Days Old

My daughter is eight days old. My little rainbow. She came to us early, but healthy and the birth was a great experience even if it wasn't exactly as planned. I may write again to document the birth because I love to read the birth stories of my fellow bloggers. But for now this is… Continue reading Eight Days Old

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My Mother. Myself.

My parents were never married and they broke up when I was 7 going on 8 years old. My mother asked me to move out with her and I, a mommy's girl, saw no other option. The year I lived with her was hard - not enough food to bring to school for lunch, or… Continue reading My Mother. Myself.

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An Actual Pregnancy Update (And At A Cross Roads)

I am at a crossroads whether or not to blog at all about this pregnancy. Yeah, I ventured to add the rest of the letters on to that P. Yeah, I may be taking them back still. But I've had feedback that my P updates aren't completely unwelcome, and I've also had people unfollow, maybe… Continue reading An Actual Pregnancy Update (And At A Cross Roads)

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RE Graduation and First Prenatal Appointment

The day before Thanksgiving we graduated from my RE, Dr. M. At 9w6d we measured at 10w1d and heart rate was 172 (down from peak at 184.) We got a video of baby doing a little dance for us. This morning was my first prenatal appointment. I had a quick scan to see if everything… Continue reading RE Graduation and First Prenatal Appointment

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Maybe A Baby? (7w6d Ultrasound)

Yesterday was my third ultrasound at 7w6d. I was tightly wound and extremely nervous all day. Before the appointment my husband and I had the following text conversation. Me: I'm freaked out. Him: Me too. Let's keep it under control. If it's bad news, let's just deal with it. Be prepared either way. Me: No… Continue reading Maybe A Baby? (7w6d Ultrasound)

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Trauma of Pregnancy After Loss

These past few days I am struggling with my thoughts and feelings. I don't know where I belong. I no longer have anything to contribute to or any information to glean from my infertility groups. I feel straight up unwelcome at times. As though I have not suffered enough, as though getting "p" is all… Continue reading Trauma of Pregnancy After Loss