Pregnancy Update

(Almost) Half Way There, Livin’ On A Prayer

It’s been over two weeks since I last updated. It’s hard for me to write when things aren’t going badly. Is that strange?

I am 18w6d. It feel surreal because this is the point I used to be so envious of for other women, and here I am, and I’m not quite on the magical carpet ride I thought I’d be. Thank you, recurrent pregnancy loss PTSD. But things aren’t bad, either. I’ve not had a spot of blood this entire pregnancy. That feels like a miracle.

More importantly, I had my anatomy scan last week, and everything they could see looked good except my “huge” fibroids (huge was the perinatologist’s word) are partially obstructing views of the profile and heart so we’re going back to get better looks at those next week.

The day of the scan we also secured a spot at a daycare/preschool near my work and announced publicly, finally. I was able to have a wonderful victory lap at work the next day and that eased my anger about Annoying Coworker. My boss brought in a cake and rainbow balloons and a fruit/cheese plate and it was really amazing. I normally hate attention but I am enjoying this attention. I have become quite open with family and coworkers that this is my fifth pregnancy so it’s a little different than a regular first timer, and I’ve gotten a lot of support. One of my coworkers even told me about her 10.5 week miscarriage she suffered 20 years ago!

The only hiccup still is my cervix. At 17 weeks it was 5.2 cm. At my 18 week scan it was 3.2 cm, but the person doing the scan took a fraction of the time that they did at 17 weeks, seemed rushed, only took two quick measurements (and one was 2.6 cm before she got a better look!) The perinatologist said there’s no indication that my cervix will be incompetent and the length is fine and that one of my fibroids is blocking the view of the cervix also and it all depends on who is doing the scan. I think it’s possible everything is fine and the second cervical check was just rushed. I also think it’s possible that they are being negligent because a 2 cm difference in one week is not sitting well with me. At my follow up scan next week I am going to ask for another check and hope for a more thorough look. That being said, I am leaning toward thinking everything will be okay since I was seen by a perinatologist at an ivy league affiliated maternal fetal medicine center. Right?

I am having other pregnancy issues but they are not problems, just discomforts that I will gladly deal with any day if it gets me my baby.


2 thoughts on “(Almost) Half Way There, Livin’ On A Prayer”

  1. I know exactly how you are feeling. I will be 19 weeks on Sunday, a place I never thought I’d be and it seems unreal that that’s where I am. I have bought a few outfits but outside of that I haven’t even started on the nursery or looking at items that we are going to need. I feel like she is going to get here and I will have nothing ready. Our anatomy scan is a week from Monday and I can’t wait. Hoping it all goes well and I can get some peace about her development and things like my cervix and placenta.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am 99% done with the registry and bought a high chair. My aunt started planning the shower. I wish I could be worry free, and I’m so close! I want to enjoy every minute without being worried. And I find that mothers who’ve never had loss try to assure me that this worry is the same for all moms. No. No it isn’t. You get it.

      Liked by 1 person

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