Today is a hard day.
Yesterday I was so wiped out exhausted that I put my head down on my desk at work and nearly slept. I got home and fell asleep quite early.
Today I woke up at 5:30 am and it took me hours to get out of bed and I was late for work. I am so tapped out I don’t even want to sit up, I want to be reclining. I think waking up to pee 2-4 times a night is probably adding to my exhaustion. My nausea is very low grade, not enough to make me vomit but enough to be a low grade constant discomfort.
But don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. As I keep telling my husband, I’d do this a thousand more times to get a baby. All this physical stuff I can handle, it helps to acknowledge it because it reminds me I am pregnant.
But mentally/emotionally I am not good today.
- I am having one of those days where I am not convinced that baby is still alive in there. Kind of emotionally spiraling out. Definitely reaching for the doppler tonight.
- I think I needed to spend the day in bed today, because I am tired and because I am feeling paranoid. But I had to come to work today because I have some obligations that had to be met today.
- My exhaustion is making it very hard to do housework, and my husband gets home too late to help a lot (he commutes 90 min by train and gets home between 8-10 pm). Small potatoes problem in the scheme of things, but house mess is one of my stressors, bleh.
- My Counsyl test was 8 days ago. The sample got to the lab 4 days ago. Where the hell are my results??
- My coworker whose wife is 9 days ahead of me in her pregnancy is having her NT scan tomorrow and they are in their second trimester and they are that blissfully ignorant couple who just gets to be normal and pregnant, and I am feeling irrationally pissy that they didn’t “earn” their baby and that my pregnancy will play second fiddle to theirs after we both announce.
But there’s a countdown now, to second trimester: 9 days (also my third wedding anniversary)