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Pregnancy After Loss (9 weeks)

Yesterday I had another ultrasound at 8 weeks 6 days. Baby measured 9 weeks 2 days and had a heart beat of 184. It resembled a little gummy bear, you know, that classic ultrasound image I never thought I’d see, that so many of us never get to see.

It was also the first week I made it to the ultrasound without thinking I’d had a missed miscarriage.

So I am getting close to that time where I am going to wind down the “p” posts. I just need to see the results of that Harmony test in a few weeks. Not that it’s a sure thing after that, but it’s enough that I will be able to tell my family.

Next week is my last appointment with my RE, and then I graduate to my OB on the following Monday. I unfortunately was not able to get an appointment with my OB directly, but with a midwife, so I am nervous about that. I like my OB and she’s size friendly and doesn’t get doom and gloom about my weight.

I think I will maybe create a pregnancy blog, for posterity, and link it to here. But this won’t be defunct, not yet, because I’m not done talking about infertility or pregnancy loss.

It’s crazy because I am 9 weeks today and that is still really early but it’s the furthest I’ve ever made it and I’m in the home stretch of the first trimester. And since I found out at 8 dpo I’ve known for 6 weeks which makes it feel longer.

When I made it to 9 weeks last summer, I felt like I’d been pregnant for so long already because it was a constant wait and see the entire time. And things looked bad the entire time. I took out those old ultrasound pictures last night and it made me feel so sad. That would have been my daughter born this past February. We never saw more than a smudge, even at 8 weeks. I feel sorry to her that she didn’t get to be with us.

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1 thought on “Pregnancy After Loss (9 weeks)”

  1. I hate what this life/path has done. And how awful that I saw ‘loss’ in the title and immediately jumped to, “Huh?? Another one?” I don’t know how I missed the “after” at first glance. Looking forward to following your next blog too. SO relieved you’ve both gotten this far. How’s your husband in all of this? Has he had any anxieties? Was he with you for your scan?

    Like

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