Hello Darkness My Old Friend (CD 3)

What makes an otherwise sane woman pee on a stick (or dip a stick in pee) once, twice, three times a day, starting on 5 dpo? What makes that woman stare at that stark white test and take pictures of it and tweak the contrast options until a line, that may or may not actually be there, appears?

Infertility.

On the morning of 8 dpo I finally was able to tweak a line in a photo editor. It’s crazy, but at least I never post pictures of my stark white tests online to ask others if they see the line, or think the beginning of my period is implantation bleeding, even though I’ve had implantation bleeding twice.

On the morning of 8 dpo as I wondered if there was really a line, 8 dpo became CD 1.

That makes my second 7 day luteal phase since January, even though I used progesterone cream this time. My temperature chart is evidence that I have a progesterone issue. My post ovulation temps were jagged up and downs. Dr. J has been telling me I have progesterone problems and has been trying to remedy it with my herbs.

I did have a 28 day cycle again though, finally. They’ve been 30-35 days since January, which is also when I started ovulating much later than CD 16. Interestingly, it is also when I started taking DHEA. My doctor advised me to take it, I haven’t had any of the negative side effects I’ve read about,and I truly believe that it improves egg quality, AMH, and AFC based on the many research studies I’ve read. Dr. Sher doesn’t advise it for women with DOR from what I’ve read on his blog, but I read so many research studies and I really am concerned about my egg quality. But this cycle I’ve decided to experiment by either not taking DHEA or taking a reduced dose. So far I haven’t taken any but since I’m not sure if I should be taking it, I might just go down to 25 or 50 mg a day. I want to see my ovulation goes back to normal.

I met with Dr. M to discuss the next steps after my last cancelled IUI. She really stressed how surprised she was that there was literally no growth and she recommended max dose of stims for the next round. I told her that we just want to skip to IVF so I can bank as many embryos as we can and she said that my weight is still too high. She acknowledged that this is the clinic’s rule and they are very strict so it’s not that she can make a concession for me. I understand that.

I’m not mad at her, I’m a little annoyed with the clinic, but I am so upset with myself for not losing those last 2.5 pounds. Actually I need to lose more than that because the scale at the doctor’s office consistently weighs me 3 to 4 pounds heavier than I am on my scale at home in the morning with no clothes on, and it seems clear that’s the weight that matters. So I’ve been trying hard to stick to my diet again. I was eating no gluten or dairy to reduce inflammation (and in theory help my ovaries) and it was also helping me lose weight but I went off the wagon when I got so sick in March that I had blisters all over my gums and tongue and down my throat and all I could eat was vanilla frozen yogurt. I am trying again to get back where I was.

I also need to schedule another sonohysterogram but I haven’t been able to schedule it and being that I am on CD 3 that’s looking less likely to happen this month, meaning my IVF cycle will get pushed back to maybe August. So frustrating. I have to have a weight check on June 29, then my IVF consult, then I can start.

Dr. M says I’ll do estrogen priming, then max dose of stims and then an antagonist. She acknowledged that I may need a longer stim period since my ovulation is later in my cycle, which is what I’ve been thinking. She said if this protocol doesn’t work, she may try a micro-flare protocol, and if neither of these work, I may need donor eggs.

One good thing that I’ve been able to do in the past month is switch out almost all of my health and beauty and cleaning products with safer and healthier chemicals. All I’ve got left to change is glass cleaner, wood cleaner, and night cream.

Before I got my period early, I went to a Kate Spade store and found a cute bag. It’s really big with a long strap which is what I need, plus it’s fun summer colors. I had to have it. When I got out of the store I realized I’d bought a diaper bag. I hoped it was a sign of something good to come, but not yet.

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2 thoughts on “Hello Darkness My Old Friend (CD 3)”

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