“1 in 90,000,000”

“I am 1 out of 4.” This statistic is supposed to make me feel better about having a miscarriage. It’s meant to erase the taboo of not speaking about pregnancy loss. If you are one in four, you could conceivably be surrounded by women who have gone through the same troubles as you, and come through to the other side with a live baby. This number includes an estimate of miscarriages that happen without a woman knowing she is pregnant or even miscarried, so the number of known miscarriages is closer to one in five. That’s still common enough.

What if you are 1 out of 50? Since about 2% of couples face two consecutive losses, if you are in this group, chances are lower you will encounter other women with your experience.

How about 1 in 200? That’s the number of couples who deal with three consecutive losses.

What if you were 1 in 90,000,000? That’s what an obstetrician once told me was the chance of having an ectopic twin pregnancy with one cervical and one on the ovary. She said this to reassure me that there was no way this was happening to me, that the mass on my ovary must not be an embryo, that the embryo implanted on my cervix was the only one, and yet six weeks later when the mystery mass was gone with a double dose of methotrexate, it was confirmed that I am 1 in 90,000,000.

 

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